Personal space...or not

I've been here for almost two months now, which sounds crazy because I feel like I've been here much longer. Everyday is a new mini-adventure - what exactly did I just order to eat? Will that pack of dogs decide to get up and chase me down the street again today? Will I make it across the six lane highway to work? (Of course I will, Mom!) So far I've returned home each day well-fed, unscathed and full of a million new thoughts about human rights and South East Asia. I'm meeting a lot of wonderful and interesting people and I've even made a few really good friends.

I'm starting to notice some more subtle cultural differences that I've found really interesting. I spend a lot of time in songthaews, as this blog might reflect. Sometimes, you're the only one in the songthaew...and sometimes there's a little old lady or a small child sitting in your lap. Luckily, I've so far avoided being one of the people hanging off the back while the car races down the highway at rushhour. I think people sense my hesitation as a foreigner and spare me that role. One really interesting thing I've noticed is that in the songthaew, while climbing in and out, people do not hestitate to grab other passengers knees or shoulders to balance themselves. I'll admit that the first time I noticed someone do this to me, I was a little startled. I thought the lady was hinting that I move out of the way, but then I noticed she touched the knees and legs of almost every other woman in the car as she crawled out (quite firmly, with a lot of her weight because you have to hunch over to get out of the cars), and no one else seemed to think twice about it. Of course, I should note that in no instance would a members of the opposite sex touch in public. Sometimes you see young couples holding hands, but even that is considered a little risque.

The idea of personal space is so different here than it is at home, and I'm not saying this is bad or makes me uncomfortable, I think I actually quite like it. I had a funny experience the other day as well. I was in a songthaew on the way to work and it got very crowded. I was pushed all the way to the back and was up against a plastic bin on the floor, which was crowding my leg room. A group of cute, chatty, little old ladies got in and were sitting around me. One of the ladies smiled at me, touched my cramped legs and said something to her friends, probably along the lines of, "this poor tall girl looks so squished!" She then rested both of her arms on my legs and kind of started petting my knee...not in a weird way like that might sound, but more in a soothing way, trying to assure me that she understood I was uncomfortable. Then a mother and her young son got in (he was probably about six years old). The mom hung onto the back while the little old ladies giggled over the little boy, pushing him back to sit on the plastic bin in front of me, rather than the floor, because he was just big enough to use it as a seat (often there is a stool or two in the center that people sit on, so this worked in that way). The ladies were talking to him, fixing his jacket, and brushing his hair down and the little guy was just shyly smiling while his mom stood at the end of the car, watching but not batting an eye that a group of strangers were cooing over her son. Even when one of the ladies took out a little candy and gave it to him, the mom didn't do anything.

As I was sitting there, with this lady resting herself on my knees and smiling at me every few minutes, watching her and her friends fuss over this little kid, who didn't seem to care, nor did his mom, I thought to myself, this would never happen in the United States. If I was on the bus in DC or Seattle and someone rested their hands on me, I can just hear the "excuse me?" seething with attitude coming out of my mouth. And I can't even think what a parent's reaction would be to a perfect stranger brushing their young child's hair and cheeks and giving them candy. But I've noticed this happening all the time. When a little kid gets in the car, all the women take it upon themselves to make sure the kid stays seated and doesn't fly around the car (needless to say, no seatbelts). I frequently see people just pick up kids and sit them on their laps.

My ride to work this morning was rather uneventful, as far as songthaew rides go. I managed to avoid the dogs and cross the highway safely...I hope I can pronounce what I want for dinner correctly.